


Counting

by aruarudayo



Series: Memories [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dave thinks too much, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Panic Attacks, Shoosh-Papping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:12:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2140125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aruarudayo/pseuds/aruarudayo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember when Karkat shooshpapped Dave for the very first time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Counting

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from deadcellredux@dreamwidth

Dave had a problem. At least, Karkat was pretty sure that was the case. As their journey on the meteor progressed, the troll constantly observed his friends. Originally, he kept an eye on Dave in order to keep track of his relationship with Terezi and the implications that would have on his own relationship with her, but things began to feel…off whenever he looked at the human. 

At a certain point, Dave started muttering to himself constantly, sometimes spending hours staring off into space and doing so. Karkat wanted to confront him about it, but then he would have to admit that he’d spent hours staring at him staring into space, and that seemed to kill the argument a bit.

So, Karkat decided to experiment a bit. He told himself it was so he could figure out the extent of the problem, but he knew a part of him just wanted to mess with Dave. 

He started off by walking past Dave’s line of sight several times in the span of an hour; he got some funny looks from everyone else that happened to be around, but none from the blond. A day or two later, he purposely knocked his coffee cup over and cursed loudly for a good minute or two but still failed to get a reaction. Then, he stood behind him and dropped a large book on the ground, much to Rose’s chagrin, and still wasn’t acknowledged. 

“What are you doing?” Kanaya asked even more emphatically than usual. Rose gave him an all-knowing look from where she stood behind her.

“I’m testing something,” Karkat replied, picking the book back up. He made no effort to keep his voice down even though he was barely a foot away from Dave’s chair. Still nothing. “I’m almost done though, so can you two to get the fuck out for a little while I finish?”

Kanaya reluctantly obliged, tugged along by Rose. The latter whispered none too quietly, “I’ll tell you about it in a minute.” He cursed her perceptiveness under his breath. She definitely had it all figured out.

Karkat walked around the chair and approached Dave from the front, somewhat disconcerted that it still didn’t get a rise out of him. As he drew closer, Dave’s murmurs became more distinct.

He was counting.

“Dave,” Karkat tried, face level with the boy’s. “Dave!” 

Dave jumped. “Y-Yo, what’s up, Karkles. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Damn right you weren’t paying attention,” Karkat grumbled. His voice had absolutely no bite to it though, and he knew Dave could tell. “I’ve been trying to see how much you’re paying attention the past few days, and the answer is not at all.”

“Whoa there, you’re coming on a bit strong. All ‘senpai, please notice me’ and shit without actually trying to talk to me. I know you’re not in love with me and the whole hatemance thing doesn’t fly for humans, so I’m going to have to turn you down.”

Karkat resisted the urge to punch him. “Look, you insufferable prick; I’m not trying to court you. I’m trying to figure out what the fuck is going on in your stupid little brain and why the hell you’re fucking counting.”

Dave’s eyebrows furrowed. He looked away, a hand coming up to clutch at his head. “It’s none of your business. Don’t worry about it. I’m fine. I’m fine; _I’m fine_.” Each word grew more hysterical, Dave pulling at his hair and pacing in a futile attempt to control himself again. 

When the counting started up again, Karkat took that as his cue to intervene. “Strider, get a hold of yourself!” He cut in front of Dave and untangled his fingers from his hair, only then noticing the other was shaking. 

They struggled a bit, the shades flying off and onto the ground in the process. In the back of his mind, Karkat registered that this was the first time he’d seen Dave’s eyes, but couldn’t dwell on the fact they were a striking red, just a shade off from his blood color. Focusing back on the issue at hand, he called the blond’s name, but only got incredibly high numbers as a response. Realizing Dave wasn’t even listening to him anymore, he did the only thing he though he could.

A finger on his lips, he carefully brought the other hand up to touch Dave’s cheek. The boy started, his eyes wide. Karkat’s hand migrated farther upwards, gently stroking his hair. “Shh, it’s okay.”

This continued a while until Dave finally relaxed and crumpled into him, resting his head on the troll’s shoulder and taking deep, shaky breaths to calm down. Karkat continued whispering reassurances into his ear and petting his head until all the tension had left their bodies. 

When he deemed it safe, he asked quietly, “Mind telling me what that was all about?”

“I think that’s what humans call a nervous breakdown,” Dave responded weakly. 

“What set it off?”

For a moment, all they could hear was Dave breathing. “It’s complicated,” he finally said. “You know how I’m the Knight of Time?”

“What about it?”

“Ever since I started messing with time, there’s been this clock in my head. I can hear it, ticking, all the time.” As he spoke, his hands started drifting up. He noticed them just before they covered his ears; he instead grabbed Karkat’s shirt tightly, as if to anchor himself. “Do you know how many times I traveled back in time? I don’t. But I still knew when certain things would happen. Like when one of my selves would die.”

A shudder passed through Dave’s body; Karkat wrapped an arm around him, the other still occupied running soothingly through his hair. 

“What’s worse though,” Dave continued, “is that I’m so sensitive to time _passing_ that I’m compulsively counting the seconds, minutes, hours…whatever seems most pressing at the moment. I know exactly how long it’s been since we got on this meteor, how long it’s been since we started the game on Earth…” He pursed his lips, breath hitching slightly in his throat. “…how long it’s been since Bro died.” 

Karkat told himself that, if they talked about this again, he wouldn’t mention the wet patch on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything though, feeling that Dave would continue without prompting.

The Knight didn’t disappoint. “I’m…tired,” he admitted. “It’s hard to sleep when you’re constantly thinking of morbid numbers. I’ve been having trouble shutting them out lately, probably because they were amplified when I became a god.”

Karkat hummed thoughtfully. “So, you remember everything?”

“Things that are important, I guess.”

“How about when we first met? In person, preferably; even I know I was a huge piece of shit when we first started trolling you humans.”

That earned him a chuckle. “Yeah, I remember. It was nice seeing you guys after we basically blew ourselves up.”

“How about the first time you talked to Egbert?”

“Yeah, though I think that’s outside my sphere of influence on the timeline.”

“Lalonde?”

“Same deal.”

“Harley?”

“Ditto. What are you getting at?”

“There’s a lot of memories in that dumb head of yours. If you’re obsessing over them, try obsessing over the good ones.”

Dave knocked his head lightly on Karkat’s shoulder with a groan. “Why is it that Mr. Negativity is the one to tell me this?” 

Karkat fought down an impulse to drop him. “Feeling better?”

Dave nodded lazily. 

“Hey, are you falling asleep? Don’t fall asleep on my shoulder.”

The blond made no sign that he’d heard him. With a sigh of resignation, Karkat guided him over to a couch and sat down, squirming around until they both seemed comfortable. 

“Thanks, bro,” Dave mumbled, and somehow, Karkat knew he wasn’t talking about his brother.

The next day, Karkat found Rose and Kanaya gushing over a picture of the two of them sleeping on the couch. He couldn’t find it in himself to get mad.


End file.
